Mastering Motivation

How long do you spend each day getting ready for work? 30 minutes? An hour? And how much time do you spend each day grooming your emotional and spiritual health? If you're like me, your outer appearance may be getting a disproportionate amount of attention.

In my recent quest to discover what really motivates me so that I might try to focus my energies on goal setting, I have made some rather simple but important discoveries. First of all, I think motivation and thereafter goal setting is not an event that should be completed once or even once in a while, but rather a daily exercise to focus your mental energies & activities on the things that are most important to you.

I had some trouble lately figuring out what those things were - particularly in relation to my business goals. Not wanting to simply set an empty financial goal that had no meaning behind it, I sought a method to find true meaning in my work & life pursuits beyond what I have done in the past. I wasn't sure where to turn so, as mentioned in my previous blog, I just decided to "sit and wait at that crossroad and see what would come to me." Wow was I surprised! Things started to arrive in many different forms. Messages from friends and associates who were either sharing the same kind of experience (thank goodness I am not alone in this quandary!) or messages with words of wisdom or advice. I drank it in and thought about all that was generously given and about the network of friends that bolster us through tougher times and make the good times so much more enjoyable.

I checked into the suggested reading they offered and also found a few resources on my own as well. Some of those which have been immensely helpful include:

The Bible (good stuff!)

The Secret (watched the DVD again with two people who had never experienced it & with my daughter - we all had a lively and wonderful discussion about it)

Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill (really puts money in perspective particularly if you have a limited mindset about it)

Smart Talk by Lou Tice - always a favorite for positive thinking techniques

Prayer...that stuff works! Who knew! ;-)

Additionally, there have been many other interesting sources on the Internet for goal setting and motivation. Because of all this, I have ended up accidentally forming something of a daily ritual of working on my "inner self" more than the time spent in front of the mirror each day. The investment has been worthwhile.

While I haven't found the absolute meaning to life yet I have found that there is much joy in the daily exercise of pursuing higher goals and bettering yourself. The more information you gain, the more your motivations and goals become clear. Being open-minded to the discoveries you make is important.

Last Monday & Tuesday I attended a Turning Point Retreat with my business coaching company (Buffini & Company). I knew from past experience that there would be a section of one day dedicated to goal setting. I was dreading it with the the fear that I wouldn't be able to come up with any goals. To make matters worse, they added a section wherein you are to list rewards and celebrations for accomplishing those goals. At first glance, I was not feeling too skilled at this exercise.

But the messages, the books, the prayer, the study and the time spent each day just thinking about what motivates me & what's important in life culminated in a very productive experience with the goal setting and rewards exercise! I have some new goals now and subsequent rewards that make the work that's required to get there seem worthwhile. Thanks to Debra, my good friend, I am also going to take the items from the rewards list and build a vision board - a daily visual reminder of what it is I am working towards.

But the biggest gem from the whole exercise is the realization that the daily habit of working on your inner well being is the key. Having a positive mindset, keeping things in perspective, reflecting on your goals and motivations daily and having an attitude of gratitude & expressing it to those around you is a powerful collective experience when done in daily bite-sized pieces. Not every day is great but you can much more quickly pull yourself out from the rubble of a bad day with strength of these tools and exercises. I also realized that I don't have to figure it all out right now.

So in the spirit of gratitude, I want to thank all of you who responded privately and openly to the last blog entry and shared your thoughts and experiences with me. I am thankful for you and your insights and especially for your friendship. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!


P.S. I have sprinkled just a few of my vision board pieces in this blog just for fun. These are some of my "less profound" goals. It's fun to dream!

Sitting at A Crossroad

Did you ever find yourself in a situation wherein motivation is absolutely required in order to accomplish a task or to reach a goal but it seemed to be the last thing you could muster? In my recent move across the country, I have realized the importance of goal setting and especially motivation. I was very clear on the goal: get to Maryland before the school year started. The tasks that needed to be accomplished to get there then became obvious (and daunting) and I had a very deep motivation. Thus the goal was somehow achieved despite many obstacles. Looking back on it all is exhausting but it amazes me how much can be accomplished when we are motivated and have clear goals with deadlines.

Throughout my life, I have found it easy to set goals. Being a "spectrum-global" thinker (as my Heritage Profile from my coaching company suggests) it is supposedly easy for me to set goals that are years into the future. A 5-year goal for example has always been a comfortable time frame for me to think about. I have found that goals are the road map to your future - set them and then your subconscious seems to drive you down that road even when you are not thinking. I suppose this is "The Law of Attraction" at work. Now I am going to sound rather "old" here but life offers us some pretty clear future goals when we are younger. Obviously, going to college, getting a degree, getting a good job, making a certain amount of money, having a family, buying a home are all common goals. But once you have accomplished those kinds of goals, then what do you do?

Through this recent change in my life, I have come to clearly understand that motivation is really the FIRST step in the goal setting exercise. What do we want out of life? What's important to us?

So what happens when you can't decide or discern what motivates you anymore? What then? How do you set goals? How do you create your road map? Where do you focus your time and energies?

This is where I find myself now. Having uprooted myself and my daughter and traversed the country to re-plant ourselves in Maryland has been an experience something like cleaning off a very cluttered desk that was piled with work that you thought would have lasted a lifetime but now it's suddenly all gone. All that stuff that you thought was so important and so complicated was suddenly swept away and in its place - a blank slate is staring back at you. A fresh start...what do you do with it? Before I re-clutter that desk I would really like to think about this. On what do I really want to spend my life? Where should I intentionally spend my time?

This is the first time in my career (and perhaps in my life) where I find it difficult to figure out what goals to strive for - which path to choose. With my "desk" now clean, all options are available. But time is precious and once you start filling the proverbial "in box," it seems your mind gets busy and it becomes harder & harder to see all the possibilities that are available to you in life.

This is a rare and unique opportunity to reassess the whole thing...but damn it's hard. It smacks of deep philosophical questions about the meaning of life and all that "stuff." If anyone has figured that out yet, please let me know! You would save me a lot of time here.

Assuming no one has figured that out, I find myself with a challenging new task - figuring out what the heck it is that's really important to me these days...in my older age. Where do I want to invest my limited time in this life? We spend more time on our work than on anything else in life. Why not make that work a joy and have meaning? Of course, it would be helpful if we can make a decent living too!

I recently attended a meeting of the National Speaker's Association, an organization that I am honored to say that I joined last week. Our speaker last Saturday was Jim Cathcart who is a professional motivational speaker and author. His web site is: http://www.cathcart.com. He also has a great blog at: http://highvaluerelationships.blogspot.com where he talks about Intelligent Motivation. But one of the points Jim made in his speech Saturday was to ask yourself, "Who is glad that they know you?" That question gave me great pause. I think we all desire to be liked, but his point was deeper than that. He spoke of thinking about the impact you can have by enhancing the lives of others. How you can help people achieve their goals, their dreams or just plain feel better about themselves because they know you. How can you connect people with common goals and help both of them get to their desired outcome? Who is glad they know you?

On determining your motivation in life, he spoke about finding something that either bothers you or inspires you. When you find meaning in what you do, you bring more value to what you do.

Lastly, he stated, "How would the person I would like to become do the things I am about to do?" That is a powerful thought. A nice way I suppose of saying "fake it 'til you make it!"

So it seems that I stand at a crossroad and for the first time in my life, I am not sure what path to take - what goals to set. So I have decided the hell with it! I will just sit down for a while and think about it. Hopefully the meaning and motivation will become clear eventually and then the goals and activities should be a snap.

Anyone care to sit and join me a while?