Whose Job is it To Teach a Man to Fish?

Saturday evening...Bethesda, Maryland roughly 7:30 PM. I was walking along Woodmont Ave with my best friend, smiling and talking - trying to decide where to eat a nice hot meal for the evening. We had just left the movie theater where we had enjoyed a romantic comedy, a bag of popcorn and a Cherry Coke. It was cold outside and I was complaining that I didn't want to walk too far to find someplace for dinner. I could see my breath. The wind was blowing just enough to cut through to the bone.

We came to an intersection to cross the street and a woman pardoned herself and asked us, "Could you please spare some change for us this evening? I tried to go to the shelter tonight but they were full...." I glanced back. My initial reaction was one of being uncomfortable. But then I really looked. For a change, I really looked at this woman on the street and the picture of that moment stuck with me and laid on me like a heavy weight on my chest. There tucked under her arms were two kids. They were probably ranging in age from 6 - 8. The looked at us with curious eyes, probably wondering what we would say to their mom. Their expression was very matter-of-fact, as if to say, "yes, would you spare some change? I really would like some dinner."

The woman continued, "I just want to get my kids a warm meal tonight. I'm sorry but if you could help we would really appreciate it. I tried to go to the shelter but it was full."

A thousand thoughts flashed through my mind. What brought her to this? Why was she on the street with her kids? Is this is scam for money? Does she do this all the time? What kind of situation is this? Is she trying everything she can to get a roof over their heads tonight? Is there really NOTHING or NO ONE out there to help them get fed and warm tonight? And then it hit me...it doesn't matter whether this was a scam for money. This woman (who was very well spoken) is on the street with her children in the cold asking for money for food. It's an awful situation no matter what. No matter how you perceive this or what the reasons are for it, that mother felt that this was the best way she could provide for herself and her kids that day.

We of course gave her money - gladly. And then with heavy hearts, we continued to walk towards our destination - a nicely appointed restaurant where we spent $94 on dinner including wine, appetizers, salad, main course and coffees. Throughout the meal, I thought about the woman and her children. Guilt washed over me as I looked over the feast laid out before us. Ugh.
We talked about it. Where did they eat tonight I wonder? Where will they sleep? Should we have done more? Since we did not, who will???? Whose responsibility is it to do more for those who cannot do more for themselves? The government? Well, that's clearly not working well enough.

Two days later I am still thinking about that woman. As we left the restaurant with our full bellies I felt sick as hell. Should we have offered to bring them home with us? Then what? Back on the street the next day?!

I felt helpless to do anything lasting to make a change for her and her kids.

If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day but if you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. A word now jumps out at me that never did before...YOU. YOU must teach the man to fish - not someone else. It doesn't say, if you give a man a fish you feed him for a day but if someone else would just teach him how to fish... No it says YOU teach him.

Now what does this mean exactly these days? How do you teach a man (or a single mom) to fish these days? I feel terrible that I didn't ask that woman where she would sleep that night. I think I didn't want to know the answer. I didn't want to be responsible for her. (I hate that I felt that way.) But who WOULD be responsible for her if not me? Some would say that she should just be responsible for herself - try harder, get a job. But how can you make it as a single mom of two kids and pay for food, housing, electricity, day care and living expenses on minimum wage? You can't.

Our society is broken. It's broken because people can learn to fish but the fish are anemic. You can't survive on just any fish anymore. Any old fish (job) is just not enough. So where does that leave us?

I think we have a collective responsibility to care for those in our society who cannot care sufficiently for themselves & their children. We need to help them find a road to sustainability in their lives - but how? I don't know what to do about it. But I want to do something. If we all did something about it, it would improve or even eliminate the problem - but that's not likely to happen.

She and her children were standing there in front of me - looking at us - asking us for help. We only made a small gesture (within our comfort zone) but we did not extend ourselves and really come to understand what she/they needed that night and in the days and nights to come. I wish I had done so.

The one thing I know for sure is that we should all do something. Educate ourselves about the problem and the current programs available, learn what we can do - even if it's a small gesture. Collectively, I believe that we can make a change. The next time I meet her on the street, I hope to be more prepared to offer something better than a sardine - I would like to offer her a fishing lesson, a rod and some bait and directions to a great place to get some big fat trout all the time - oh, and a bucket of fish and chips for the road!

I'm GREEN!

Just wanted to share the news that I have now received NAR's GREEN Designation awarded by the Green REsource Council. After taking a number of courses on green principals in construction, smart-growth, water efficiency and conservation, practicing social responsibility, waste management and recycling and more, I am now offically "GREEN" - so they say.

But here's the glitch. AM I GREEN? I ask myself whether I am actually practicing social responsibility with respect to our environment in and out of my home. I have always been the light switch nazi in my household - running around turning off lights behind everyone, but I have come to know that there is so much more than can and should be done.

I have stocked up on reuseable grocery bags now. The challenge is now remembering to bring them into the store so that I don't have to keep buying more of them! But it goes on. while waiting for the hot water, should I save the cold that comes out first? What should I do with it?

Should I unplug (not just turn off) all of my gadgets every night? Should I start doing laundry at night instead of during the day (there is a reason that this is beneficial to the environment). Should I run out and replace every light bulb with CFC bulbs? The list goes on and on and on.

So I realized that many people probably feel like I do. How far is too far? How dedicated do you become before people think you are just obsessive or have OCD about the whole thing? Just how much can I reasonably do?

As an environmental science major, social responsibility for the environment has been something I have studied for over 20+ years now. But my focus was so much bigger during my course of studies and in the career that followed. I have seen the damage done by mining operations and other large-scale commercial impacts but I had never really thought about our collective impacts as individuals. However, it is just that - the collective "little things" that we all do every day when we make choices as to how we live - that significantly impacts our enviroment and depletes our natual resources as well. Why is it always up to someone else to figure it out, solve the problem, or make the better choices. We each have a responsibility to do what we can.

So, I have realized that I cannot eat this elephant all at once just because someone gave me a title. My commitment then is to do one thing consistently until it becomes a habit and then add something else. Little by little, I hope to TRULY earn my new GREEN designation, not because I took a few classes but because I truly practice being green every day of my life.

Well, I'm off to the store with my reuseable grocery bags! Oh boy...I may need to buy a hybrid vehicle!

Social Media Mind Bender

After engaging in two days of heavy social networking while preparing for a presentation on the subject, my eyes have now glazed over and my head is spinning. I believe that I have a social networking hangover. The layers of this social networking onion just keep coming and coming - and my eyes are watering! Just when I think I have something all figured out, I realize that there is something more I could do - or something more that I can't figure out!

This Wednesday, I will stand in front of a room full of RE/MAX agents (at least I hope someone shows up) and will talk about social networking for business like I know something about it. The funny thing is that I thought I did know something. I'm a facebook user, among other sites. I'm on LinkedIn. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Well, as I started really digging into these tools and checking out some folks who really know how to put them to work I was blown away! There is so much more that can be done.

Here are a few revelations I have had regarding social networking for business:

1. It's here to stay! If you resist, the joke is on you. Might as well jump in with both feet and try to enjoy the cyber-ride!

2. The time to start using social networking tools is NOW. More and more, companies and individuals are looking to social networking as their means of communication. Want to send out a mass text message? Twitter. Want to send pictures of your latest vacation to all your friends and family? Post them on Facebook. Want to search for a job? Check out LinkedIn.

3. It's fun. I used to view social networking as a chore. But the more I use it, the more fun it has become.

4. BEWARE of social network addiction! Time management is a must! Linking twitter and facebook to your cell phone is a great way to send updates daily without getting sucked into the vortex when you really should be doing something else!

5. Social networking for real estate is, in my opinion, still in its early stages so it's not too late to get started. But I do believe it will become more and more important as a tool used by the savy real estate professional. Snooze too long and you might lose!

6. Get personal! Go ahead and share what you did today or that you are a STEELERS fan! (Hey, who wouldn't be?!) Getting personal makes you and your posts more interesting.

7. DON'T get PRIVATE. Personal does not equal PRIVATE. Keep it clean. Don't post anything that you wouldn't feel comfortable letting ANYONE read.

So, just go for it. Pick your favorite site and get started. Understand that each one has it's own unique flavor. For example, LinkedIn is much more business-minded than Facebook. Don't forget to have some fun!

Business may or may not come from your networking on these sites but your market presence and ties to your sphere of influence will definitely improve.

Well, I'm off to tweet!